Fantasy Pitch:3

To be honest i am not sure if this pitch will appeal to all of my readers, as it is a bit darker than my last pitch. In a way i feel it is closer to my tastes than my last pitch, and i know how…umm controversial my tastes in movies can be :P Also i added Zac Efron and Morgan Freeman to the cast for points and 2 extras for minor roles that weren’t originally planned. Anyways, on to my pitch

Title-The Nature of Evil

Tagline-Sometimes evil is where you least expect it

Note-Whenever i mention the word “dungeon” i am referring to the workplace where dominatrix’s work at.

Alexander Skarsgard as David Brown. A serial killer,his true nature went unnoticed in the community until Theresa managed to escape. He was immediately executed. His actions have caused family to become outcasts in the community.


Jennifer Lawrence as Samantha Brown.Has had trouble accepting herself ever since her teen years, but this was made worse by her fathers betrayal, as she thought they were close. Started her job as a criminal psychologist a year before her fathers true nature was revealed, and has been working at it even harder since that discovery. Also ha a side job as a domimatrix

Angelina Jolie as Lisa Brown.David convinced her to move into a new town. After his betrayal has been trying to keep her family together, but hasn’t had much luck.

Zac Efron as Jake Brown. Samantha’s younger brother. Has been unable to move ahead in life due to the towns suspicion of his family, making him a very angry young man who has become the towns bad boy. Now mostly relies on selling drugs to make ends meet, although he dreams of owning a restaurant.

Dakota Fanning as Theresa White.Even though she is the only victim of David to survive, she is one of Samantha’s closest friends.

Ben Whishaw as Wesley Miller.The chief of police. Has been looking for a way to fire Samantha ever since the discovery of her fathers crimes, but hasn’t found a concrete reason to fire her.

Tobey Maguire as Adam Wilson. Had been living as a prisoner of psychos for a few years, but ended up escaping. The trauma of that and having to kill his captors took a psychological toll on him.

Morgan Freeman as Father Robert.The local priest, unlike most of the folks in town he doesn’t judge Samantha for her fathers crimes.

Thomas Decker as Nick Stewart. Sometimes acts as a slaveboy at the dungeon where Samantha works.

Gabrielle Union as Elizabeth Wright.The owner of the dungeon. She runs her dungeon in a professional manner. She is close to everybody who works there.

Act 1

Begins with a nightmare, but the audience doesn’t know this until Samantha wakes up abruptly. She gets dressed, making sure to hide her scars from cutting. She does criminal psychology work with the police, bails Jake out of jail at Lisa’s request, and the does a shift as a domimatrix at the dungeon.

The next day Wesley assigns Adam to Samantha as a patient, and provide him temporary shelter. She is uncomfortable with the last part but agrees to follow the orders.After getting Adam situated, Samantha starts the rehabilitation process. The two start to form a bond due, and Samantha’s taste for darker entertainment is revealed to the audience. Samantha tells Adam why she is treated with such suspicion when he asks about it.

Some time after Samantha stops Adam from cutting himself, and after finding out Theresa is busy leaves him with her mom to keep him safe while she does a night shift at the dungeon. Her client starts to show guilt issues, and tries to get her to go further. Samantha refuses, and leaves. She finds Nick walking home, and asks him if he goes to the dungeon for similar reasons. He assures her that is not the case, and that he is there for his own enjoyment only.

Nick is found murdered days after, and Samantha is sent to the crime scene. She decides not to tell the police how she knows him, and finds out he was whipped to death. Samantha decides not to tell the police of its significance.

Act 2

Samantha gets the dungeon clientele from Elizabeth to try to catch Nick’s killer without exposing Nick’s activities at the dungeon. Elizabeth tells Samantha she was close to Nick, and hopes Samantha will find his killer. Samantha notices several prominent members of the church have been at their. Theresa tells Samantha she was very close to Nick, and thinks it was a religiously motivated murder.

Samantha finds a threatening sign spray painted on her house. Samantha goes to check out one of the leads from the list. She catches up to him, and finds out he ran because he thought she was the killer. He also seems surprised to hear about the spraypaint on her house.

While checking on the other leads Samantha witnesses Jake’s difficulty with trying to get a job, but tries to assure him things will get better. Jake reveals he been trying for years, but with no one taking his job application and unable to afford college he has given up on his dream of owning a restaurant. Before leaving, he brings up how she has managed to keep her job while he struggles, causing Samantha to feel guilty.

Later, she goes back to cutting herself to deal with that guilt. Lisa attempts to bring her family together again with a special dinner. The tension between Samantha and her brother is still raw, but Lisa manages to keep the dinner amicable until she sees signs of cutting on Samantha.

This upsets Lisa, as she assumed Samantha had gotten past that already. This also sparks Jake’s jealousy again. The combination of this causes Samantha to leave. When Samantha gets home, Adam tries to find out whats wrong. At first he has no luck, but eventually she tells him the truth. While comforting her, their physical closeness causes the sexual attraction between them to rise to the surface, and the two have sex.

The next day Samantha gets a frantic call from Lisa, and finds out Jake is the prime suspect in Wesley’s murder. She goes to the jail, where she promises Jake she will fix everything. Jake apologizes for how he has been treating her. Samantha lets him know she accepts it before leaving.

Act 3

Samantha uses her job to get all the info on Wesley’s murder the police have. The police are reluctant to tell her anything but they aren’t able to come up with a concrete reason. She finds out it was done in a professional manner like with Nick, and that his mouth was cut across. She figures out if they are linked, then Wesley’s injuries should have something to do with a secret like Nick. She decides to ask Wesley’s wife if he had any secrets.

Samantha finds out Wesley one time went somewhere and wouldn’t tell the wife about it, and that he had been more active than usual in church. She theorizes he may have gone to confession, which would explain the mouth injury. Samantha finds out Wesley was at a church event at the time of Nicks death, and that the rest of the clients was at the same event.

Samantha goes to the father Robert, who doesn’t regard her with the usual suspicion. It occurs to Samantha she never remembered Robert ever doing anything against her like everybody else. Samantha brings up the topic of confession, and Robert tries to hide his surprise but Samantha can tell she is on to something. After telling him it may help her stop the murders, Robert tells her Wesley had started to become attracted to her, and that is why he went to confession and his guilt is why he became active in the church.

While walking to Theresa’s house she gets a call from Elizabeth asking for any updates involving Nicks killer. When Samantha brings up Theresa, Elizabeth is surprised. Elizabath tells Samantha Nick never mentioned Theresa, and likely doesn’t even know who she is.

Elizabeth hangs up, and when Samantha gets near Theresa’s house uses a nearby rock to break in. She goes in the basement, as she remember Theresa never wanted her their. When Samantha gets down the stairs, it looks more like a labyrinth than a normal basement. She finds pictures of her with David, surveillance equipment, weapons, and torture devices. She tries to call the police, but the signal is jammed.

Theresa appears suddenly, weapon in hand. Samantha asks for an explanation, wondering what she has been hiding and wanting to buy some time. Theresa reveals she had been working with David since she was a teenager, and that she always wanted him to see her as more of a daughter than Samantha. He refused to, and so Theresa got him caught by the police as revenge, posing as a victim to avoid suspicion. She secretly wanted to make her Samantha’s life miserable. She blames the town’s secretive ways for making her the way she is.

Theresa tries to attack Samantha, but Samantha manages to get a weapon to defend herself with. Theresa reminds Samantha when her father took her hunting she couldn’t even kill a deer, which causes Samantha to lose her resolve a bit. Theresa attempts to take advantage of this opportunity, but when Samantha tries to defend herself she accidentally strikes fatally. Theresa just laughs, whispering that she won. Just then the police come in, and Samantha explains what happened. When she leaves the area, she see’s Theresa’s parents arguing about who caused Theresa to end up a killer.

Samantha tells them its not there fault, and in doing so realizes she is not at fault for what her father did.

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40 Responses to Fantasy Pitch:3

  1. markuswelby1 says:

    Sorry about the misplaced post. I like the idea of much of the setting taking place in the dungeon. It’s something not often explored too very much, but adds an interesting atmosphere. “8MM” and “Basic Instinct” explore S&M and murder, but more often than not, Hollywood seems to favor silly stereotypes of the scene. Plus Jennifer Lawrence as a domme. Yes please.

    • Glad you like the setting. I remember seeing a documentary on dominatrix’s and one think that struck me was then a owner mentioned a few of them also major in psychology(or something to that affect). Ever since then i wanted to do a movie focusing on one. A while later i got the idea of doing a movie with a woman struggling with the idea of evil being put in charge of a guy psychologically traumatized. I ended up combining those two ideas for the pitch.

      Plus, i am a fan of movies that explore sexuality in a interesting way :)

  2. Tyler says:

    Ooh, a very interesting pitch. The idea is fascinating and the casting is brilliant! Well done Julian

  3. rtm says:

    Interesting cast you’ve got here Julian, a mix of TV and film actors. Well this is quite a creepy story, which is of course what you’re going for. You probably already know this isn’t my cup of tea but your pitch itself is nicely done with just the right amount of details.

    • Well i’m happy the feeling of creepiness got across although the ending is supposed to be hopeful in way when Samantha realizes she isn’t evil after all. I didn’t think this would be your cup of tea but i’m happy i got the amount of details right

      • Ronan says:

        I’d have to agree with Ruth here Julian and say that the setting and tone of the pitch aren’t what I would usually go for but I like that you aren’t afraid to take on such a heavy story and I applaud you for trying to give it a hopeful ending. I think when it comes to to ‘evil’ as an absolute, it’s tricky when you start attributing it to people. My personal feeling is that people are capable of committing evil deeds and quite often do but I don’t think committing an evil act makes a person evil. Murder, for example, is an evil act. If a person were to commit murder, as I far as I can tell, that would make them a murderer but not ‘evil’ because everyone, no matter what they have done or been apart of or experienced has the capacity to amend their life and redeem themselves. Thanks for this Julian.

        • Glad to know i’m getting to be more courageous with my pitches. And for the ending i wanted one that still felt realistic and in tone with the rest of the story while still making sure Samantha got to a point where she can became accepting of herself.I’m happy i was able to find a ending that fit. And as for the question of what is ‘evil’ It can definitely get ambiguous, but for me how i whether someone fits the definition of evil would be solely based on there actions…and in a way this pitch would be a representation of that, and also of my frustration with people blaming the media for peoples actions.

          • Ronan says:

            I would avoiding blaming the media outright for people’s actions, as you say, but there are usually a number of contributing factors as to the way someone turns out and how they behave as a result. The can include their upbringing and life experiences and the media is undoubtedly one of the more powerful formative influences on young people today and on society at large. So I wouldn’t ‘blame’ the media but I would be wary of it.

            • True, it is just despite having seen a good amount of violent movies(and played a lot of fighting video games) i’ve never gotten into a single fight. In fact, for a long time i had trouble standing up for myself…which lead to 2 former friends putting me through a lot. Thankfully my dad noticed something was going on, and i stopped hanging out with them. I do think if someone is already teetering towards the edge violent media probably wouldn’t help, but at that point there are some other issues going on.

              • Ronan says:

                Sorry to hear you went through that Julian, I think we’ve all probably experienced something similar somewhere along the line, I know I have. I think it’s a vicious circle with society and the media. They feed and perpetuate each other.

                • I can see that. My dad’s approach was always to never make a big deal out of whatever i watched(me and my dad are very close, which is why i keep mentioning him in case you’re wondering)…i think he wisely figured that for most young people the more you try to stop them from doing/watching something the more they want to. So i never looked for extreme movies just to be rebellious or anything like that…and i still don’t In fact, there are a few films my dad has watched i haven’t had the courage too…like A Serbian Film.

  4. Castor says:

    I’m still shell-shocked by the absence of Deborah Ann Woll. What is the world coming to?

  5. Andina says:

    Interesting cast! It’s been a while since I saw Gabrielle Union. I’m not really familiar with fantasy pitch, though it sound interesting. Maybe I’ll join if my time isn’t so strict.

  6. Novroz says:

    First of all….this is one heck of a loooong read. I think you could do a bit of cutting up there.

    The story is interesting, better than the previous pitch, I like the ending.

    Now, about the movie itself…I am in between, I like some of the casts like Dakota and Ben…but I really don’t like Angelina Jolie…sorry Julian.

    • It is? I tried to make my pitch shorter this time. My last pitch was around 2,000 words while this came out around a 1,000 words.

      Glad you like the story and ending. I tried to make it feel realistic and in tone with the rest of the story without making it too much of a downer.

      Yeah i know a lot of bloggers don’t like Jolie but i really like her. If it helps any she wouldn’t have a lot of screentime…compared to most of the cast anyways. I remember you watched Benjamin button, and Jolie would have far less screentime than Pitt in that and i know you’re not a fan of him

  7. Novroz says:

    To me, it is still long. But I understand that you tried to deliver your story thoroughly.

    aha!!! in the benjamin button case…I love cate a lot, I did a lot of fast forwarding when Cate was not alone. Not only I dont like Pitt, I also think the movie was terribly boring.
    But I forgive any actors/tress I dont like if the movie is awesome, like Se7en.

  8. Castor says:

    Ok I read the whole thing and I was surprised by how dark this is compared to your previous pitches! Glad you are exploring new frontiers Julian :D I also like that this is a 3-act story with a clear resolution. As some of the folks above have said, it could be cut down a bit and written in a more sensationalized way to generate more excitement.

    Overall though, big improvement over your previous pitches!

  9. Sam Fragoso says:

    Incredibly dark, with a peculiar culmination of a cast.

    Sounds like an idea worth exploring.

    Nicely done.

    • Well for the cast i wanted 7 good point picks, which is probably why it ended up peculiar.Like for the boss character i was originally going to use Chris Evans, but he got snatched so i used Ben instead because of his role in Skyfall. For the rest i decided to go with the underrated route, which is why i choose Decker and Union. The one exception is Jolie who i originally got as a point pick but decided to replace her with Freeman in that regard after it became clear she won’t have anything out this year.

      But i’m happy you liked it :)

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  11. le0pard13 says:

    First off, I love that you cast Gabrielle Union as I think she’s under utilized as an actress. Overall, it’s a formidable group of actors. It is as others have said, incredibly dark (but then you warned about that going in). It’s an excellent pitch, Julian. Well thought out and presented nicely (and darkly).

  12. iluvcinema says:

    Interesting story and cast to fit the story you have put together.
    Alas “the voice of God” is a priest :D

  13. Stevee says:

    Nicely done – this sounds like an interesting story! Mind you, I do get a bit tired of the murderous tales, but it seems like you’ve put a good twist on it. Plus, Jennifer Lawrence would be great as the lead (love the inclusion of Ben Whishaw too!)

  14. I just wanted you to know that i started reading your pitch and will be finishing it when I get off of work this evening. I like it so far. I shall return.

  15. Okay. just finished.

    I actually got into it, man. I could see the setting in my mind and didn’t think it was misplaced or too long. I thought it a little odd to cast Ben as Chief of Police instead of perhaps just a detective. We don’t see him exercise any “chiefly” responsibilities and he seems a bit young.

    I wasn’t expecting the twist toward the end and I like how you set it up. Completely believable with Gabrielle Union in her role. For me, I get the ending, but, I would’ve liked to seen Theresa’s obsession with revenge go so deep as to have set up the dungeon with so much false evidence so that when the police came and saw Theresa dead and Samantha with weapon in hand, that Samantha was taken into custody and put in jail. Pretty dark, I know, but Theresa’s whispering that she won made me think that was coming. Just a thought.

    Nice pitch Julian. I agree with the others in that this was leaps and bounds better than your previous ones as well. Great work.

    • Happy to know you found the length jut right. I tried to make sure there was enough for the reader to go on without being overly detailed. And as for the casting of Ben, i was originally planning to pick Chris Evans for that role but he was picked before i got to him and so after finding out Ben is the same age as Evans plus with him being a good point pick with Skyfall i decided to have him as my replacement.

      And as for ending, Theresa’s whispering was supposed to be about how she got Samantha to finally kill, which she was the last thing Samantha wanted to do. Plus i didn’t want to have the ending be too much of a downer

      Glad to know i did better with this pitch. I’m starting to think perhaps darker works better for me :)

  16. Dan says:

    This sounds like a great film. I want see it. Really creepy stuff. I like the young cast, especially the excellent Jennifer Lawrence.

  17. DO NOT PANIC! I am here!

    I love this Julian. You have a great eye for a good idea. I would definitely pay to see this movie. And as we all know I am a bit of a fan of the one like Efron!!

    Brilliant work matey, I am super jealous!

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