Fantasy Pitch 2:Princess

This is my 2nd pitch. My last one turned out kind of bad, so i really wanted to make this one better. The title of it this is “Princess.” Its pretty much a reworking of the typical medieval fantasy story, with the princess being kidnapped by the evil sorcerer and the knight saving her. I would also like to to be a bit grittier than most fantasy movies. Also, i would like to point out i got the inspiration before i heard about the Brave(The princess movie coming from Pixar).

Also, my pitch came out a lot longer than i intended. I was going to try to shorten it yesterday, but i didn’t have much success with that(I was on vacation, so i didn’t have all the time in the world to work on it). Also, like last time because i would like to become a screenwriter/director i didn’t list one for this pitch. Visually, i would like it to look similar to the Lord of the Rings movies, with a slightly realistic touch to it.

Arabella Bordel.Despite being a princess, she is not happy about how the kingdom treats the majority of its citizens. This has caused her to have a strained relationship with her dad and brother. She wants to change the system, but hasn’t made much progress with that. Stands to inherit the throne.

 

 

Gavin Margas.He is a sorcerer, and Arabella’s lover. He is part of the rebels who are fighting against the kingdom. At first his relationship with Arabella was just a mission, but it eventually grew to truly love her. He has been keeping this a secret from Arabella.

 

 

 

Walter Fru. One of the most respected Knights in the kingdom. On the outside seems like a respectable guy, but his behavior doesn’t always match that. Because of his past, believes that one has to take what they want by fore in the world. He is used to getting girls easy because of his status, but Arabella has refused his advances. This has only made him more drawn to her

 

 

 

Arthur Bordel. Arabella’s younger brother. Arthur grew up spoiled by his dad, causing him to turn into a spoiled brat that never had to deal with any difficulty in his life. He thinks he has a right to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants, and makes no attempt to be a decent human being.

 

 

Jacquelyn Ormond She is another one of the rebels fighting against the kingdom. Has a crush on Gavin, but by the time she realized it Gavin had already fallen in love with Arabella.

 

 

 

 

 

Althalos Mobec. The rebel leader. He is a very logical person, and this can cause him to appear cold at times. However, he truly wants to do the right thing

 

 

 

Uril Brodel. Arablla’s father. Has a had a strained relationship with her daughter, due to him being a proponent of the way the kingdom is run and his rather misogynistic views. He is abusive towards his wife. The only family member he has a actual loving relationship with is Arthur.

 

 

 

Bryce Urry. Arthur’s servant. Arthur’s treatment has taken a toll on him, making him act timid and scared most of the time.

 

 

 

 

Maria Bordel.Urils wife and Arabellas mother. Lives in fear of Uril. Tries to be there for Arabella as much as she can, but Uril doesn’t give her very much room.

 

 

 

 

 

Leif Papon. Unlike most nobles, he does care about the peasants who live in the kingdom. Treats his servants very well, along with his wife.

 

 

 

Thea Papon. At first she married Leif for his status, but over time there marriage grew into one of real love.

 

 

 

 

 

Arabella is sitting by a table, surrounded by noble sitting on decorative thrones. They are in a room used exclusively by well-dressed nobles to discuss important matters. Uril is sitting in front of the table, wearing the crown signifying his status as king. The nobles’ debate over how to handle until Arabella suggests that they should listen to the rebel’s demands and eliminate the nobility system. This causes an uproar, which doesn’t surprise Arabella at all. Despite their criticism, she stands her ground.

Uril makes the meeting come to a close. He makes sure Arabella knows not to go anywhere. The nobles leave, except for Arabella. Uril’s anger which he had been restraining ever since Arabella spoke up explodes, causing the two to have a heated argument. Arabella tries to leave, but Uril stops her. Just then Maria informs them that they need to leave.
Uril is still fuming, but after some pleading from Maria Uril lets it go for now. Maria asks Arabella to get Arthur while they go to their carriage. Arabella finds Arthur yelling at Bryce for dropping a glass sculpture given to him by Uril. Arthur doesn’t hide his annoyance at Arabellas presence, and leaves to complain to his parents about Bryce’s behavior. After Arthur leaves, Arabella helps Bryce pick up the dropped object, and apologizes for her brothers behavior. She goes to the carriage with Bryce.

When the family gets home, Uril tells Arabella to follow him into the throne room. Arthur pokes fun at Arabella before going into his room with his servant. Arabella gets angry, but still follows Uril and Maria to the throne room. Once there, Uril shocks her by saying she is going to get married to Walter. Arabella protests, and looks to Maria for support, but she is obviously too scared to say anything. Arabella is unable to sway her father, and storms out of the room.

Arabella goes to her room, and finds herself no longer able to just ignore the stresses that have accumulated. Just then, Maria enters her room. Arabella doesn’t particularly want to see her, but she doesn’t feel like fighting her off. Maria tries to reassure Arabella that it won’t be so bad. Arabella isn’t convinced, and Maria changes the topic to Arabellas inner strength. This seems to hit a chord with Arabella, which Maria is glad about. Just then Uril comes in and says Walter requested to meet with Arabella this afternoon. Arabella volunteers to go earlier, and sounds like she has come to term with the news. Uril is happy to see this, and lets her leave the castle.

She goes to a shop, with Althalos and Gavin managing it. She notices a little boy trying to get her mother to buy him a sword, and it becomes apparent the mother doesn’t have money. Arabella gives the child enough money to buy it. The mother thanks her, and Arabella say it’s no problem. She then asks to see Gavin alone. The two go inside his house. She releases the magic disguising her identity. They discuss the news, and Gavin suggests that Arabella goes along with it and just keep their relationship a secret, like it has always been. Arabella tells Gavin her various fears about what will happen to her as a result of the arranged marriage. Gavin comforts her, and takes some of her fear away.

In an attempt to take away some of her stress, Arabella and Gavin make love. After this, the two cuddle for a bit before Arabella gets up to leave. While getting her cloth on, she asks Gavin to meet her at their secret meeting place later. She leaves the house through a hidden exit. Once she is able to find a hiding post, she releases the magic hiding her identity. Arabella travels to the Knight training camp, and finds Walter training the recruits. Walter notices her, and ends the training session early.

Arabella asks to go to someplace private to talk, and the two go to his chamber in his compound near the castle. There, Arabella says that she will go along with the marriage, but it doesn’t mean she loves him. Walter doesn’t seem satisfied, and threatens Arabella by reminding her that her father will believe anything he tells him. Arabella gets extremely uncomfortable, and makes up an excuse to leave.

When Walter tries to grab her, she blasts him away with magic, knocking him unconscious. She uses magic to disguise her identity, and leaves. She quickly walks to where Gavin is, trying not to rouse suspicion. She finds Gavin, and tries to hint about what happened, but Gavin doesn’t get it until he sees Walter walking into the area seemingly angry. They start walking away, when they are stopped by Walter

Walter asks what they are rushing to, and Arabella says they are going to elope, and Gavin goes along with it. After a few seconds of thinking if over, Walter lets them go. After getting out of hearing distance from Walter, Gavin tells Arabella about the rebel base, revealing his secret life. Arabella is surprised by this, and asks him if he has killed anyone. Gavin says no, and Arabella believes him, and the two head to the base.

The two finally get to the base. Althalos sees them, and immediately confronts Gavin about returning to the base unannounced. Gavin tries to explain, but Althalos just seems to get angrier as he finds out the details, feeling that Gavin has put everyone in danger. Suddenly, Arabella interrupts, and takes the blame for what happened in an attempt to defend Gavin. Althalos decides to drop the subject when he realizes she won’t back down.

Arabella and Gavin go to Gavins tent, and he thanks her for defending him. Arabella tells him he just doesn’t want to see him treated that way. The two decide they have had enough excitement for one day, and rest for the night. The next day, Althalos asks Arabella to be the lookout for the day along with Jacquelyn. Jacquelyn doesn’t seem happy with the arrangement, but she agrees to do it anyways.

The two go outside the perimeter. While checking for intruders, Jacquelyn starts asking Arabella about her relationship with Gavin. At first it seems friendly, but Jacquelyn’s questions soon start taking on a nasty tone, and Arabella tries to focus on her job. After using a bit of magic, she detects a heavily armed force that seems to be heading along the road to the base, led by Walter. Arabella goes back with Jacquelyn to warn Althalos and the rest of the rebels.

Althalos calls a meeting after receiving the info. At the meeting, the rebels debate over what to do about the troops coming. After some time Althalos decides they will have to do an ambush. Arabella immediately asks if they are going to have to kill anybody. Althalos only says they will do what they must. Arabella mentions that not everybody working for the kingdom are bad, just deluded. The two start arguing, until Jacquelyn tells her to leave.

Arabella leaves the meeting out of anger. Gavin chases after her. Arabella expresses disillusionment with the rebels, and with Gavin. Gavin does his best to assure Arabella that him and the rest of the rebels are trying to do good. Arabella decides she needs some time alone. Gavin goes back to the meeting, and Arabella decides to head back into town, activating her disguise and taking an alternative route to avoid getting caught.

In town, she finds a man being tortured publicly. She is sees Arthur using the device on the man, horrifying her. Arthur makes a speech proclaiming how the kingdom will stop at nothing to defeat the rebel threat, and will use any means necessary. Arabella also finds out she has been classified as a rebel, and that Uril has stepped down from the throne making Arthur ruler. Arthur then kills the man. Arabella decides to leave, and starts heading back to the base the same way, avoiding the enemy heading towards the rebels.

When she comes back, the rebels have gone to sleep. She sneaks into Gavins tent, and starts going to sleep next to him. What she saw in town starts giving her nightmares, waking up Gavin.. Gavin expresses concern. , but Arabella brushes it off. The two go back to sleep. The next day, rebels start preparing for the ambush. Arabella asks if Gavin is going to participate in the ambush. Gavin avoids giving a direct answer, but implies he will try to avoid killing if he can.

Jacquelyn out of nowhere gets angry, and starts insulting Gavin for being too soft. Arabella rushes to defend Gavin. When the two start arguing Gavin tries to get them to stop, and then Jacquelyn tells Arabella she was supposed to be with her, confusing Arabella. Jacquelyn reveals the truth about Gavins mission, shocking Arabella. Arabella doesn’t want to believe it, but Gavins reaction confirms it for her. She starts to back away, and Gavin tries to explain. But it is all too much for her, and she runs away.

Arabella ends up finding the Manor of the Papons. Because she is in her magic disguise, they don’t recognize her as the princess. Thea notices how tired she is, and invites her for food with her husband and servants. Arabella accepts, and when she goes in the house, she notices how they seem to generally be in love, unlike her parents. Arabella also notices how they treat there servants as people and not just property.

When they get around to eating, they ask why she was running so hard, but she avoids answering the question. After dinner, Leif has to go out for an errand. After Leif leaves Arabella comments on how different she and Leif are different from her parents. Thea comments that in the beginning, her marriage with Leif was more like a mutually beneficial arrangement but that it grew into love. This reminds Arabella of Gavin, and decides to leave to try to give him a second chance. Arabella thanks Thea for the meal, and leaves.

When Arabella gets back, she finds the camp devastated, with what seems to be dead rebels everywhere. She looks around for Gavin, but he is nowhere to be found. Just then Arabella hears Jacquelyn calling her name, and from her voice it is obvious she is gravely injured. Arabella rushes over, and tries to heal her wounds with magic. Jacquelyn realizes that it’s futile, and makes sure to tell her they took Gavin, and apologizes for what she said earlier. Arabella goes to rescue Gavin, using her magic disguise to enter the town.

Arabella goes to the bakery, pretending to be looking for something to buy. Arabella manages to learn from a random citizen that the kingdom has a rebel captured, who will be executed later today. When the execution begins, Arabella sees Walter and Arthur near what seems to be a tied up Gavin.

Right after Walter draws his sword; Arabella interrupts and asks to kill him instead. Walter notices the disguise from earlier, and asks her to explain herself. Arabella leads him to believe he is angry enough with him to want Gavin dead, and Gavin goes along with it. Walter believes her, and lets her come on to the stage. Walter gives her the sword, and Arabella continues the act until the last minute, when she instead stabs Walter, surprising everyone.

She quickly frees Gavin, and takes Arthur captive. She threatens to kill him if Arabella isn’t returned to power. In fear for his life, Arthur hastily declares Arabella ruler again. We flash forward a few months later, where Arabella is speaking to a large crowd of villages, including Bryce and Gavin. At the end of her speech, she declares the monarchy is over and that she will try to create a more democratic process of electing rulers.

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30 Responses to Fantasy Pitch 2:Princess

  1. Custard says:

    Phew, I am cream crackered now (knackered/tired)!!! LOL That was quite an intense read for little old me. I bet you have a touch of RSI in your hands from typing that one matey!!

    I love it though. Love the idea of a fantasy story. Quite a deep piece of writing Julian. You have more creativity in your toe than I have in my whole body!!

    Excellent

    C

    • Thank you Mate. I was really worried that this wasn’t going to turn out good and/or the length would be too much for people…i think i was just worrying in general 😛

      I’m glad you liked it. And yeah, i wanted it to be a bit intense(i would like this to be kind of like the Watchmen of fantasy movies). And most of this was written in short spurts, so it wasn’t too hard on my fingers 🙂

  2. DEZMOND says:

    OOO, as you know I do love me some medieval fantasy stories 🙂
    Not sure most of those actors would fit the story since they tend to star in urban/modern films.

    • Glad you like it. And i think with the right outfits they could fit.

      I mean, i don’t think cast of Lord of the Rings were known for playing in medieval fantasy movies.

  3. rtm says:

    Oooh I always like a good medieval tale! It’s like Robin Hood meets Twilight? 😀 Good job, Julian, you’ve obviously put a lot into this and it shows. I love the names you’ve given your characters as well, very creative and actually fits the era. At first glance I was hoping Aaron would play Deborah’s lover, but I guess he’s still much better than Cera, so I’m glad he plays her brother. I haven’t seen any of Deborah’s film other than the True Blood clip you sent me, so I don’t know if she can carry a movie like this. Seeing Sarah Michelle-Gellar as Sean Penn’s wife seems rather jarring to me, but their parts seem to be small so maybe that’s a non-issue.

    • Well i suppose it has a love story like Twilight, but hopefully that will be the only similarity. I haven’t seen Robin Hood(i’m assuming your talking about the Riddly version), but i may try to see if its available for streaming now. I would like the movie to have a rather gritty look, as i happen to find sci fi and fantasy movies with realistic visual styles the most interesting. There is something about the fusion of fantastical concepts with gritty reality that i find really fascinating, and i also tried to have that show in the writing/plot as well.

      And for the names i got them from 2 sites( i found through google. Glad you feel they fit the error. And the reason i put Cera in the role of the brother is because imo he showed he can play douchebag well in Youth in Revolt and i’ve been wanting to see him play more roles like that ever since.

      I wasn’t precisely sure which role i wanted for Aaron when i drafted him(I had some doubts about putting Luke Mably in the role of the Knight because of his age, but then i figured he doesn’t look too old so i wouldn’t be a problem.), but as i thought more about the pitch i decided to have Aaron as Althalos because in a way he is kind of like a bad boy with angst like Lennon in Nowhere Boy.

      And the reason i had Jamie as the lover interest is because i wanted someone the audience would gravitate, and i think Jamie showed he has that kind of quality in Defiance

      And i guess maybe the age difference between Sarah and Sean were too much for you?

      And again i know putting Deborah in the lead is rather risky considering she hasn’t had to carry a movie before, but i’m willing to take that chance 🙂

      I’m really happy you liked it. The experience with my last pitch kind of messed with my self esteem, so i tried to work as hard on this as i could.

      • rtm says:

        Oh I meant Robin Hood just in general regarding the Medieval era, not a specific movie.

        I think your explanations make sense about the cast. As for Penn and Gellar, it’s not just the age but they’re not in the same league acting wise (I’m not fond of Penn but I have to admit he’s a high-caliber actor).

        As for Deborah as lead, well perhaps she can pull it off and this could be her breakthrough role. Every producer is likely to take a chance on an unknown actor once in their career. I want to say again that you did a marvelous job w/ this, Julian, well done!

        • I think Sarah could hold her own acting wise with Penn for a few scenes at least, but who would you cast instead?

          • rtm says:

            Hmmm, I don’t know, maybe someone who’s not so famous but has equal acting chops… somewhere along the line of Samantha Morton?

            • Hmmm, i just checked her imdb and I don’t think i’ve seen a lot of her work. I do generally trust your opinion on actors tho.

              • rtm says:

                Oh I don’t mean cast Morton specifically, just someone w/ a similar talent/career. How about Claire Danes? She’s not super famous but well-known enough, and she’s a terrific actress. But like I said before, if the scenes are short, it’s probably a non-issue to cast Sarah here.

                • Yeah, and there is always a chance a actress/actor may surprise you. Oh, btw are you still a Jamie Bell fan, cause i don’t remember you commenting on his casting.

  4. Joel Burman says:

    Just wanted to stop by and say I haven’t had the chance to digest your pitch yet.

  5. Pingback: Hollywood Fantasy Draft III: The Movie Pitches — ANOMALOUS MATERIAL

  6. Love the names, love the premise, and enjoy the fact that you used quite a few, shall we say, actors that aren’t normally in larger roles! For a movie that you wish to see compared to LOTR, fun choices. Not sure I would limit the use of A-listers like Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn to the few scenes they are in since they are the only ones.

    I have a question, why would Arabella dissolve the monarchy without knowing exactly how the democratic process would work? While her passion for representation of the people and the democratic process reminds me of Princess Amidala of Star Wars, would she consider the possibility of hanging on to the monarchy in order to ensure her people are cared for? or is it more along the viewpoint for her that absolute power absolutely corrupts?

    I love a good rebel story: Star Wars, Robin Hood (like Ruth said), LOTR, etc! Nice job!

    • I think she doesn’t want anyone to have absolute power, so its more the second answer. There are a few things she would declare as law before stepping down from power like removing the nobility system and making the servant thing illegal that i didn’t exactly spell out in the pitch(I didn’t want it overly detailed). I honestly was having a bit of trouble with the ending, particularly finding a way to communicate in the movie the changes i would imagine Arabella making.

      But if i ever do get to pitch this to an actual studio i will probably have it so she stays in power until the democratic process has been worked out.

      Thanks for the compliment 🙂

  7. Joel Burman says:

    Nice pitch Julian but to be honest I found it a bit on the long side. Especially the beginning where I think the focus should have been more on the love affair than the family backstory. Other than that I don’t really have much to say that its a solid story and in these twilight/rebooting classical times tales this would probably get greenlit quite easy.

    I’ll make sure to see some films with your cast members now!

    • Thanks for your comment. And yea, it did come longer than i had intended, although i don’t know if it would still feel so long once it gets to the scripting process. And i kind of feel the family back story is important to understanding Arabella’s character.

      And i thin i mentioned the movies that made me choose each cast member, so i would recommend those obviously(Especially Youth in Revolt, mainly because its the only movie where he steps out of his usual shy nerd role)

    • Joel Burman says:

      I don’t mean for the family backstory to be cut but maybe comprimate it a little and introduce Gavin earlier.

  8. Castor says:

    Well first of all, you probably had a problem making this shorter because this isn’t really a pitch rather than a telling of the story in every detail. Let’s imagine you were to meet with a studio to pitch your movie, I’m sure this isn’t how you would do it.

    As far as story goes, this is a definite improvement over your first one. You should try to describe the settings more and try to sell me on why this should be made.
    Some things to ponder:
    – The rebels: This comes a bit out of nowhere that there is “rebels” in the movie. It’s like having the Twilight movie, then suddenly revealing mid-way through that World War II is going on.
    – Attack on the base: You say Walter is headed toward the rebel base with his men. How far can he be from the rebel base that Arabella can go to town and then come back and they still aren’t there, given the fact that Walter was in town, earlier in the day?
    – The ending feels really rushed.

    • Thanks for the comment, and yeah i still have trouble with what to put in the pitch and no. And i will definitely try to make the rebel thing feel more natural, as i don’t want the story to just be about Arabellas and Gavins relationship. And i didn’t realize the time issue until it got pointed out to me, so that is another thing i plan to fix.

      And as for the ending, was it Arabella defeating Walter too quickly, or the ending as a whole?

  9. Novroz says:

    whoa…everyone is making looong pitches now. Ruth was also long.

    It’s a good story but I kinda like reading rather than watching. Sorry Julian, it’s not my kind of movie but it is an improvement compare to the last one and I enjoy reading it.whoa…everyone is making looong pitches now. Ruth was also long.

    It’s a good story but I kinda like reading rather than watching. Sorry Julian, it’s not my kind of movie but it is an improvement compare to the last one and I enjoy reading it.

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